Girlfriends are just the worst. Why in the world would a friend ask you to come to a party, but then put a stipulation on that party: that you have to not only buy a dress, but a really ugly dress. A dress that you will never wear again, in a color that you would never wear in public, in a style that went out of style last year. Plus, you have to do shit before, during and after this party? If she is a really big bitch, she may ask you to loose weight, wear your hair in a certain way or color, nails, makeup, shoes, jewelry and the list keeps going. Yet, if we are not part of this coveted group of girls, we are sad and offended, even if we aren’t that good of friends! We all want to be bridesmaids, and the cu-de-ta – the maid of honor. The movie 27 Dresses captures the concept of the outlandish dresses and behavior perfectly. I have lived through my share of taffeta colors (pink, green, teal) and my girls wore red silk or something. It’s a thankless job, and you really are just a slave to the bride, because once it begins, it really is all about her and nothing else matters and no one else exists. The “Thank you”s and acknowledgments for the extra mile will go by the wayside, never to be heard or seen. You really could save the woman’s life, literally, and it would not phase the bride to be, it would be an expectation, like ‘what took you so long’. Then comes the best part. If you’re in that marrying age and you have other girlfriends that are getting married it’s about to get awkward! So, one person is in a wedding, but six months later does not ask that friend to be in her wedding. Oops, guess you’re not friends anymore! Either that, or, now you have 15 bridesmaids and you have tell your fiancé he needs to find more friends (looser) or ask his second cousin Marvin to step in. The next time someone asks me to be a bridesmaid, I’ll just buy them a bottle of champagne and one for me. I’ll come out ahead, without a headache and a decent buzz! Prost!