He’s Counting On You Not To Listen

Today, Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau met with Donald Trump at the White House. After a meeting with ‘women business leaders’ and other pleasantries they held a press conference. Next is the transcript of what Trump said to the press before both Trudeau spoke and the press asked questions. Now keep in mind, the initial statements are usually prepared and even reviewed by the president even if it is composed by a speech writer. After reading this it will make you question who the hell wrote it, did anyone else see it and is everyone really that paralyzed by this guy that they won’t correct him on ANYTHING? I will first have it in its entirety. Then I will attempt to analyze it.

On behalf of all Americans I thank you for being with us today. It is my honor to host such a great friend, neighbor and allies at the White House, a very special place.
This year Canada celebrates the 150th year of confederation. For Americans this is one of the milestones in our friendship and we look forward, very much forward, I must say, to many more to come.
Our two nations share much more than a border. We share the same values, we share the love, a truly great love of freedom and we share a collective defense. American and Canadian troops have gone to battle together, fought wars together and forged the special bonds that come when two nations have shed their blood together, which we have.
In these dangerous times it is more important than ever that we continue to strengthen our vital alliance. The United States is deeply grateful for Canada’s contribution to the counter ISIS effort. Thank you. And we continue to work in common and a common cause against terrorism and work in common cooperation toward reciprocal trade and shared growth.
We understand that both of our countries are stronger when we join forces in matters of international commerce. Having more jobs and trade right here in North America is better both for United States and is also much better for Canada. We should coordinate closely.
And we will coordinate closely to protect jobs in our hemisphere and keep wealth on our continent and to keep everyone safe.
Prime Minister, I pledge to work with you in pursuit of our many shared interests, this includes a stronger trading relationship between United States and Canada, it includes safe and responsible cross border travel and migration, and that includes close partnership on domestic and international safety.
America is deeply fortunate to have a neighbor like Canada. We have before us the opportunity to build even more bridges, and bridges of cooperation and bridges of commerce. Both of us are committed to bringing greater prosperity and opportunity to our people.
We just had a very productive meeting with women business leaders from the United States and Canada where we discussed how to secure everything that we know the full power of women can do, better than anyone else. We know that. I just wanna say Mr. Prime Minister that I’m focused and your focused on the role women play in our economies. We must work to address the barriers faced by women entrepeneurs including access to capital, access to markets and very importantly access to networks in our discussion.
Today we will focus on improving the ways our government and our governments together can benefit citizens of both United States and Canada and in so doing advance the greater peace and stability of the world.
Mr. Prime Minister I look forward to working closely with you to build upon our very historic friendship. There are incredible possibilities for us to pursue Canada and United States together.
Again, thank you for joining us and I know our discussion will be very, very productive for the future of both countries. Mr. Prime Minister – 

All righty.  Did you get that?  Or is your brain still trying to figure out what the hell any of that was?  I listened to it, listened to it again, listened to it a sentence at a time, typed it out, read it and still have no clue what the hell that was.

To open with, he doesn’t bother to personally thank Trudeau for coming.  Nothing about it being nice to have him down, hope he’s enjoying his visit.  What he DOES do is welcome him on behalf of the country and emphasized ‘great friend‘ to make sure we know Trudeau likes him.

Canada is celebrating their sesquicentennial this year, their 150th birthday (well, one of them anyway), so it’s kinda like their 4th of July.  He basically brushed it aside and comments on how it is a milestone for America and their relationship with Canada.  Nice dude.

Next, Trump proclaims we share the same values.  HA HA!  Canada is and has everything Trump is trying to eliminate here, then suddenly jumps to battle.  I don’t think war is on Canada’s top ten.

The comment “forged the special bonds that come when two nations have shed their blood together” is only for dramatics.  Take that same idea and apply it to all the people who were banned from the country that weekend.  Iraqis fighting side by side, literally shedding blood arm and arm, but because they are from Iraq, that’s not a real bond.

The fear dramatics weren’t missing today either.  We had the ‘dangerous times’ and ISIS reference and hinted at illegal boarder crossing.  He make the ‘war on terrorism’ aka the counter ISIS effort, seem like it was ours, we were in charge and thanked Canada for their ‘contribution’  To me it sounded very condescending.

His segways did not exist, he is on one topic and in the same sentence will jump to another from left field.  The rest is a rambling mess about commerce for the most part.

There are some stellar lines that just cannot even be explained, like this one, “we understand that both of our countries stronger when we join forces in matters having more jobs and trade in North America, better for United States and Canada.”

We should / we will coordinate closely to:
protect jobs
keep wealth on our continent
keep everyone safe . . . . in our hemisphere – WTF?

I pledge to work with you for our ‘shared’ interests:
stronger trading relationship (US/CA)
safe & responsible cross border travel AND migration
includes domestic and international security

Then he went on a whole bridge obsession.  To build even more bridges, bridges of cooperation, bridges of commerce.  What, our relationship with Canada has been that frictional?  The only reason we would need to build bridges with Canada is after Trump has burned every single one of them.

I don’t know the context of the ‘meeting of women business leaders from US & CA, but this might have been the most bizarre word vomit of this speech.
“How to secure everything that we know . . . can do better than anyone else, we know that”
“Focused on the role women play in economics”
To work to address barriers faced by women:
access to capital
access to markets
access to networks (emphasized ‘very important’)

These are just words:
Today we will focus on improving the ways our government and our governments together can benefit citizens of both United States and Canada and in so doing advance the greater peace and stability of the world
My summation – Focus on improving way to benefit citizens which will advance peace and security.
Yeah, neither make any sense.

As he wrapped it up, he wanted to ensure that everyone one knew J-dog was his BFF by referring to it as a “historic friendship“.  The ‘incredible possibilities’ are  what?

I haven’t seen anything in this speech that has any actionable statements.  It’s:
There is danger.
Teach everyone two are greater than one.
A little bit of geography.
Lots of trade and trading, but don’t know what and don’t know how, just we can trade commerce together.
Oh, Canada, don’t let illegals cross your border to come here.
Some shit about women businesses (this is hard for him unless we are talking about tiaras and bikinis).
Justin Trudeau loves him.

There were 2 mentions of jobs.
There were 5 mentions of commerce and / or trade
There were 5 mentions of safety in some way
There were 20 times he reminded us what countries he was talking about.

I was going to do the entire press conference to show the difference in how Justin Trudeau spoke and Trump did.  I was particularly interested in how different the answers would be to unscripted questions from the press (it was really sad) but this exhausted me.

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