Krazy Karens & The FTBA BS

a Krazy Karen with a FTBA “badge” threatening to personally sue an employee over her refusal to wear a mask.

Over the last year it’s been hard for most of us. My trials started before covid back in August 2019 when I lost my mom to a senseless accident. I will say, however, that my decision to move to Mexico shortly after was probably the best thing I have done in a long time. It is much easier to deal with a pandemic in paradise.

Central Mexico

I’m constantly amazed at the level of stupidity and ignorance surrounding the concept of wearing a mask. All these people having meltdowns over wearing a piece of fabric over their pie hole is simply astonishing. When I was a teenager I used to lifeguard in the summer months. Anyone who has ever been to an outdoor pool knows the official uniform is a bathing suit, a towel and maybe flip flops. Yet we all knew that if we did a run to the local corner store for Cool Ranch Doritos and Gatorade, we had to throw on a shirt and shoes, which sometimes meant borrowing someone’s or digging in the lost and found. “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service.” Simple instructions. It didn’t impede on anyone’s rights, it wasn’t a law, it was how they did business and you respected that. I didn’t need to have my boobs hanging out nor did I need to see Joe Schmo’s beer gut and toe jam. It was also a courtesy to other patrons.

These businesses are struggling as it is. Grocery stores have been open thru the whole pandemic at the cost of the health of some of their employees. All they ask of their patrons is to wear a damn mask for the short time you are in their store. To protect other shoppers, their employees and yes, even you. Now for those that think covid is a lie, a conspiracy and it’s all made up, well, then just humor the rest of us that are paranoid of catching this made up illness and wear a mask while you’re around us. Think of it like this, when your rights start to take away mine, they are no longer rights. A face covering does not stop you from breathing, but it does stop little germ-ies from your space getting into my space. That’s why I wear a mask, is to protect YOU. I wear a shield to protect me. The mask is for the people that don’t have a choice. You can choose to shop, the employee at the store HAS to be there.

Now, as for our Krazy Karens and this bullshit about having medical conditions, citing the ADA or this bullshit organization FTBA (Freedom To Breath Association). I’ll be in the states next week and I almost HOPE I encounter one of these Karens. See, unlike them, I actually have invisible disabilities (i’m disabled, but you wouldn’t know by just looking at me). I have had brain surgery and multiple surgeries on the nerves on my skull and neck, a connective tissue disorder, neurological issues, the list is long. I fortunately do not have anything that impedes my lung function, however, I can very easily become over heated and get vertigo and faint. Wearing a mask, especially in warmer or humid climates can cause me difficulty. But you know what? I have options! I either stop shopping and take a break, stop all together and leave, don’t go out at all and just have my stuff delivered, ask an employee to help me (they always do) or just order shit online! I have NEVER pulled this Krazy Karen ADA discrimination bullshit ever! It’s hard enough living with a disability, navigating life in general, the amount of medications I have to take on the regular, the daily pain. I already have my battles having to deal with my service dog at some locations still to this day (thanks other insane people who insist that a duck or a snake were emotional support animals and just HAD to fly in the cabin with them). The ADA is not there to protect your delicate ego so you can go shopping. It’s there to ensure that buildings are accessible to everyone regardless if they can walk or if they are using a wheelchair or a walker, that doors are wide enough, that ramps are in place at schools and voting locations, that your employer makes reasonable accommodations so that you are ABLE to work despite having a disability. That you are given the same chance as everyone else.

Our last flight back to Mexico in March, an empty plane so Marlow actually got her own seatx

There are only a few conditions that would actually qualify you from wearing a mask and the rate and volume at which these Karens are speaking, I highly doubt they suffer from any of them. As I said before, it’s lung function, and people that have a lung condition, regardless of what it is, are at a higher risk of not only contracting COVID-19 and other airborne pathogens, but they will also have a greater risk of complications, so it would behoove them to have some sort of protection or better yet, to not expose themselves at all. Basically, the few items that would preclude you from a mask would be a facial deformity (temporary resting bitch face doesn’t count), emphysema, COPD, chronic bronchitis or lung cancer/single lung and incapacity. These conditions usually require supplemental oxygen as it is. Asthmatics MAY have some difficulty, but again, the benefit of wearing protection outweighs the discomfort (yes, discomfort, because it’s not a risk for an asthmatic to wear a mask). If these Karens really did have a condition that would keep them from wearing a mask, they would be staying home. Unless they WANTED to get sick. These people are bastardizing the ADA and it just pisses me off to no end. I’m glad I’m not in the states because I’m sure I’d be encountering it on a regular basis and I would probably get myself in trouble.

I’m guessing so much has to do with the fact that people are following the example set by the orange orangutan, being self centered. They have been emboldened to not only let their ignorance shine bright, but also letting their Krazy become normal. I’m glad some of these videos have resulted in repercussions for these insane behaviors. They shouldn’t be able to treat people like this, act like entitled brats and get away with it. There should be consequences for their actions. They also need to stop crying wolf when it comes to disabilities. Those with visible disabilities already have to deal with an immediate shit pile and those of us with non-visible disabilities are dealing with diseases most have never heard of, even doctors and even fewer can pronounce. Life is hard enough as it is, add a disability (or two or three) and navigating the world becomes and uphill climb, in the snow, during a hurricane. These Karens are just adding shit to the path.

Response to Yad Vashem @yadvashem Twitter response to @AOC calling US boarder “concentration camps”

Wow. This hurts me to the core. I am the child of a German immigrant. She was born in what is now Poland in 1935. She wanted so to become part of the League of German Girls, the branch of the Hitler youth for girls, when she was a child, but was too young to join. You had to be 10 years old, and everyone did. She, like many, especially children, we’re enamored by her leader, by patriotism and nationalism. Even as her own family was torn apart, her siblings in different homes, her father taken prisoner by Polish soilders, she was proud to be German. It wasn’t until she was in her teens that she learned of the horrors that were carried out in the name of her country.

She moved here with her husband, my father, in the 60’s, eventually settling in a suburban neighborhood that had a dense Jewish population. As I was growing up a decade later, I didn’t advertise I was German, I was embarrassed and knew it was an open wound for many in my community. It was one of those things you didn’t speak about in polite conversation. Fortunately most in the community were one generation removed from the direct experience (my mother had me at a relatively late age, whereas most other parents were about ten years younger).

We grew up knowing it was not our fault. It was not my mother’s fault. It was not our grandparents fault. But somewhere, at some point, Germans allowed it to happen.

It wasn’t like on Monday everything was normal and on Friday 6 million Jewish people were dead.

No. History has shown us, it has never happened like that.

Hitler did not have a grand design of cheap war time labor. He had a grand design of targeted genocide. Brushing aside the brutality of history by claiming the concentration camps were created with the intention of cheap labor is spitting on each and every grave.

There may have been people that were sentenced to hard labor that were not Jewish, but the camps were not built for them, they were a handy alternative for dissidents, criminals and people that just pissed off Hitler and his SS boys.

What is happening in this country, at our southern boarder, no, it is not on par with 6 million Jewish people murdered by Hitler. It is on course to be worse. Why?

Because we can see. We can see each and every atrocity carried out. We can see every family ripped apart. We can see what OUR war on drugs has done to their homes in Central America and why they are fleeing for their lives. We can see children without their mother or father. We can see children in cages sleeping on floors. We can see courts with no inturpreturs or attorneys. We can see people’s rights being taken away because they were not born here, regardless of how long they have lived here. We can see.

We can hear. We can hear the vitriol coming from the mouth of trump. We can hear the hate speach chanted at his rallies. We can hear people in stores yelling at people to go back to their country. We can hear the KKK marching in our streets again. We can hear.

Having the Holocaust Center stating “the camps helped” is so beyond disturbing. This is the type of political dog and pony show that is reserved for the bullshit and pandering, not the sacred memory of millions.

There are few left that were actually alive to experience the horror of 1939-1945 in any aspect. So for that, we are now left with records, written history, photos, interviews, memories of stories told. It is up to us, right here, right now, as to whether or not we are willing to allow such a monstrosity of history, or even a shadow of a resemblance of it, be repeated. Do you want your children, your grandchildren to have to answer these questions in 50 years?

In Circles

Distraction.  It’s a technique used in multiple applications: animal training, dealing with children, pick pocketing, magic, advertising.  In politics it is even easier to use.  The curtain is dropped, the wool securely over the eyes.  How has this become so easy with a government led by the people, how have we become so easily distracted?

You could blame it on the media, but that is a vicious circle of a feedback relationship.  Money, sure, but we the people allowed our representatives vote on and pass citizens United.  Lobbyists, well anyone can be a lobbyist, just the ones that have the most time and money are more likely to get a meeting.  The number of sources, the number of devices, the lack of time, the lack of interest, the overload of information, so many causes, so many issues, so little empathy, so much passion.  So what to do.

I don’t have an answer, I struggle every day.  Hell, every morning I wake up these days, my first thought is “who did he piss off now, what did the assholes do today?”.  There is almost nothing that surprises me now (i’m still shocked about trumps comments on Monday), I almost anticipate waking up to a missile launch from North Korea.

Bottom line, we already know this guy is a lying, hot headed, ignorant, bigoted, misogynistic, well you know the description list.  We also know the Russian collusion case is only getting more and more evidence and most likely has enough to throw his ass in a Siberian jail.  We know he has pissed off the world.  What should we focus on then?

Doing whatever we can, every day, with any tool you have to remove him from office.  Aside from brinkmanship with North Korea, trying to dissolve NATO, insulting our immediate neighbours, praising dictators, this man has NO business having ANY power because he does NOT represent this country.  A racist in the Whitehouse is not a sentence we should have to say.

Call you senator, regardless if they are an ass (i.e. mine is Ted Cruz), call your representatives, call your governor, call your mayor, call the Whitehouse.  Make these six calls EVERY DAY AND DEMAND HE BE REMOVED NOW FOR MENTAL INCOMPETENCE!

CALL

EVERY DAY

NOW

THIS IS WHAT YOU CAN DO THAT CAN MAKE AN IMPACT!!!!

The Rules – Shit Women Do

The number of ‘How To’ and self-help guides out there on landing a man could fill a small city library. One of the great ones (she said with a shit eating grin) was “The Rules”, a detailed road map of how to get any guy out there, guaranteed, IF you followed all the rules. Sounded simple enough, follow some simple rules, laid out in detail, couldn’t be any worse than the savory advice you get from your girlfriends at 1:15 in the morning, drunk at the bar after an unsuccessful night in the clubs of man hunting, again. Crying with her into your rum and coke (sorry, diet coke) in your great new shoes that are now on the bar stool next to you because they were killing your feet by 10 and that outfit that you were sure would at least get the back up guy to hit on you. So, you bought a copy of The Rules. There are 35 rules. Crap, 35! 35! I already have a problem with authority, and now this book wants me to follow 35 freaking rules? O.k., the first rule: Be a “creature unlike any other”. I think we have accomplished that, just read this book, women are fucking weird! I’m not going to list all of the rules, because, well, they are just insane, but some highlights. #7 is don’t accept a Saturday night date after a Wednesday. I guess this is to give the impression I’m not desperate and that if you haven’t ‘booked’ me by Wednesday, you’re out of luck, even if I have nothing planned except on orgy with Ben & Jerry. I also like #3 don’t stare at men or talk too much. Uh, oppressed much? Or #16, don’t tell him what to do & #18, don’t try to change him. Obviously these two rules were NOT written for women, this is in their genetic makeup, I think there was a National Geographic special on it, they found the bitch gene, it was telling all the other genes what to do and how they should have been doing it all along. The whole concept of the book is the archaic concept of landing “Mr. Right” for marriage and the writers even reference the early 1900’s as the origin for the material. The problem with The Rules, advice from your girlfriends, self-help books, gossip, Facebook, your sister, your mom or any other female for that matter, is that the guys are not in the loop – they have no clue about the rules. So while you don’t call him back because the rules tell you that you aren’t supposed to ever call him and only take his calls occasionally, he just thinks you don’t answer, gets someone else’s didgets, and you’re left at home with your cat, Ben & Jerry and a copy of The Rules on another Saturday night.

PC Rant

Ok, so I’ve added a new category, I have a feeling this will be popping up a bit, because there is a bunch of shit that just crawls under my skin, sits there and festers.  We have gotten to a point that almost everything out there has become offensive, dangerous, dirty, tasteless, politically incorrect, too far, racial, in poor taste, sexist, objectifying, horrifying, intimidating, mortifying, whatever.  Get over it!  Most of these people that are so offended and shocked are the same people that when they were seven were dishing out the worst jokes around.

So this morning, after the rest of the world deals with real shit, like 18 dead in Bangkok, volcano in Ecuador, bombing in Ukraine, our news covers . . .

Sorority-gate!!!  OMG!

A sorority in Alabama is getting shit for being too blonde and too girly.  Seriously?  No, really.  Seriously?  A sorority.  Blonde.  Girls.  Alabama.  What fucking planet am I on?  WTF????  Apparently the Alpha Phi sorority at U of A had created a recruitment video which some people have found to be offensive because it lacked, ready, diversity and objectified women.  I will give you a moment to compose your self from either laughing your ass off or throwing shit across the room.  One person even stated ‘the only black person shown in the video was at the end and was a football player’, or ‘the sorority was mostly blonde girls in scantily clad bikinis’.  I watched the video.  It looks like typical Greek Row life, typical big university life, typical clique life.  Come on kids, you’re not gonna have a Disney movie, it’s not going to end perfectly.  It’s not going to be super harmonious all the time.  I do believe that hate is not something you are born with, it is something that is taught, however, by the time someone is in college, and they are rushing, you aren’t going to teach them anything in those two weeks.  There are a billion things to do in college, and if you are more worried about a damn rush promotional video at your kids’ school, dude, you’ve got your priorities way screwed up.

Besides, there are people who want to rush and will be part of the Greek system, people who don’t want to rush at all, and then there are those people who want to rush and have no business doing so.  I have a feeling that most of the people causing this uproar are part of the latter.  These are the people that watched all those damn Disney movies and thought that ‘if I just try hard enough’ or ‘the underdog does win if I just show them’ or ‘make a fool of the leader and the minions will fall in love with me’ crap and then fall into despair and obscurity when they don’t get picked.

Get a grip people.  What these girls are doing in the video is exactly what girls do in college and is probably the tame, non-alcoholic version.  They are all wearing shorts and jerseys, or summer dresses or their bathing suits.  They are on the balcony of what I assume is their house waving to the camera, or on the dock  at the lake, or at the university stadium with the one football player.  They are smiling, having fun, giving each other piggy back rides (apparently a very derogatory thing for young women) holding up a sign that says their sorority name.  Now if they would have done a video of what really goes on in college, someone might actually be able to make a case about objectifying women.  Because then we would have men gawking at women, women potentially not making the same amount of money in work programs as men, women not being treated fairly in math and science classes, date rape not being reported to the authorities because the campus police don’t believe a crime took place and the campus administration won’t report the incidence.  Now that I would say is objectifying women.

Pick your battles assholes.  Focus on what you need to focus on and get off this PC bullshit.  I’m sure I’ll be back soon with another one, this place is full of them!

Moving

Have you done it?  As a child with your family?  Going off to college?  Out of your parents home into your first apartment, or perhaps into your first home with your partner?  Most of us have, at least once.  You’d be hard pressed to find someone that never has (and to be quite honest, those that I know that never have are just plain weird).

Moved.  That exciting yet dreaded task of packing your life into brown boxes and starting over in a set of four new walls, most of the time.  Sometimes you don’t have a choice and sometimes those four walls aren’t so new.

I have done this exercise a total of  20 times,  5 of which required long haul trucking companies and one round trip over seas.  I’m tired of brown boxes, and you’d think by now, I’d have this crap down.  My sister is the same way.  Yet every time, when it comes down to the wire, and we are looking at things as we put them into the boxes, the same question pops into our head, “do I really need this?” And inevitably, the crap we really don’t ends up in the box and the crap we spend the next three weeks looking for as we unpack doesn’t.

While packing, you always start smart.  You pack away the things you can live without for a few weeks, pack them nice and gingerly.  You mark the box and even include a detailed contents list so you know what’s in each box.  This activity lasts about a week.  As your time starts to crunch, your stuff starts to look never ending and you start to wonder why you have so much shit.  Do you really need five serving bowls?  What the hell?  How many times have you ever put out that many Doritos?  What about all of those A/C adapters, you don’t even know what they belong to, but you hang onto them anyway, and they get thrown into that box labeled ‘misc. crap’ which by the time the movers come, you have about 7 of those boxes.  The rest of it, starts to get boxed ‘however’.  Can’t find the bubble wrap, no problem, those dishes are getting packed in dish towels.  Out of boxes, trash bags work great for linens.  Honey, can you go to the liquor store, get me a bottle of vodka and whatever boxes they have?  You’d be amazed at how much shit you can fit into a Fiat.

Oddly enough, I had more crap go wrong and more crap break in my last move (which I’m still unpacking from AND still actually moving) which was a local move and my shortest distance by far, a whopping 3.4 miles, than I had in any other move.  I even paid extra to have three guys instead of two, I had clarified like five times in the days before, “three guys, three hours, $199  – yes” NOPE, two hours into it, the owner is calling saying it will be another $100 for another hour!  This was after they had broken a custom framed photo that cost me $250!  After some arguing, we agreed to a compromise but in the end, we still ran out of time and I still have boxes at the old address.  That much, I can’t fit into a Fiat!

In the meantime, I’m unpacking, putting things in their new home, discovering things about the new place, getting to know my neighbors.  I open boxes, some I know exactly what’s in them because of the label on the outside with the careful description on the box telling me the contents.  Others, I open them like on Christmas morning, wondering what kind of surprise is inside, and just like Christmas, am totally disappointed wondering, “what in the hell is this shit, and why do I have it?”

Pantyhose Hell – Shit Women Do

Pantyhose, I have theorized, were an invention by a man to torture women.  I would say the same of SPANX, but we all know those were the brain child of Sara Blakely and that thousands of women “swear by their SPANX”.  Yet what is the first thing we do when we get home?  We rip off every layer of clothing, an audible ‘aaahhh’ emits from our mouths the moment our bra is unhooked and then the task at hand:  peel off that Lycra/nylon bondage that’s been holding in, up, apart, various body parts.  What the hell?  It’s hard as shit just to get into a pair of those damn things!  She knew that when she designed them, that’s why there’s a pee hole in the crotch so you don’t have to pull them up and down all night.  I’m sure there are women who say, “screw it, it took me 5 hours to get these on, they aren’t coming off until I HAVE to shower again!”  There are everything from tucking in the tummy and controlling the butt to propping up the boobs to covering the toes.  Any woman will tell you, the array of ’unmentionables’ that we have to select from makes shopping for them an expedition.  There is no running in to grab a pair, it’s a labor of dread and in this world, there is no faking it.  All of your fat and glory is in black and white in the sizing, because there is no getting away with cramming into a smaller size in the world of nylon/Lycra undergarments.  After we have spent half a day shopping for these torture devices, we wear them all day or night sweating our proverbial balls off, then work enough calories off to not need them in the process of trying to take them off.  Once they are off, we have every intention to care for them as the label reads:  Hand wash only.  We even bought that special soap.  I, along with almost everyone I know, have a pile of hose, lycra and that teddy you wore once in the corner of the closet that the cat finds quite comfortable.

The beginning of “Shit Women Do”

From the time that that damn little egg develops until the moment we draw our last breath, women will do some crazy shit in their lifetime. Is it because they are women? Is it because men drive them to this behavior? Maybe it’s a cosmic thing and we just will never understand the reason why the female version of homo sapiens do what they do. It would be such an adventure to travel the universe to see what other life forms out there have dueling sexes, or for that matter, multiple sexes, and what bizarre rituals, habits and activities they partake in.

Me, as a little egg ran into that shitty little sperm on accident. Oops. See, I was already trying to avoid people back then, but NO, somehow in that long ass fallopian tube that little shit found me and hitched a ride and I started to get fat right off the bat. Damn it. So like any other emotional girl, I found a corner to hide in and cry, suck my thumb and eat for nine months. That is until some guy convinced me it was worth it to get out there and face the world. I need to find that guy and punch him in the face.

IMAG0022I have no idea if my parents knew if they were going to have a girl. They could have been having a Buick for all they knew. These days, you find out the sex, size, weight, e-mail address, get a 3D image, place a cell phone call to it, pre-book the pre-K, already have play dates set and have the room custom decorated in anything but pepto pink or blasé blue. Most of the time (unless you are one of the small group of slightly odd, the jury is still out on, but not quite sure what to think of you, gender neutral parenting parents), the world and your child will know you are having a girl or a boy.

See, from the beginning, women are fundamentally different. We are just doing our own thing, we’ve got places to go, things to do, trying to avoid the crowd. Then here come the guys, with just one thing on their mind, like usual.  Well, boys can’t multi-task anyway.